There is an opinion that we choose everything in our life: our parents, lovers, friends, enemies, our joys and trials. And this happens even before we are born.
That is, before incarnating on Earth in the body of a new person, our soul understands in advance what conditions she will live in, what mission she will take on, and she agrees that these conditions are acceptable at her stage of spiritual evolution.
With this point of view, the current hardships of life are perceived in a different way, because the choice once made was conscious. Do you believe that fate is predetermined by us?